


Brother Fucking Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

by EdgarAllenPoet



Series: Lucretia's Volumes [My Balance Fics] [21]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, Brotherly Love, Drinking & Talking, Drunk Sex, M/M, Past Abuse, Pre-Canon, Sex Magic, Size Difference, Teasing, fuck sazed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:45:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21996961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarAllenPoet/pseuds/EdgarAllenPoet
Summary: Taako decided it was best if their conversation took a quick left turn somewhere a little more fun.  The room was blurring at the edges, and his hand felt a bit too light as he moved it to Barry's knee and squeezed gently.  Firm muscle under soft flesh under rough denim.  Dope.He let his eyes droop a bit, pasted a grin on his face, and said, "You're too soft to do anything mean, at least."Barry's face flushed scarlet, mouth falling open the tiniest bit.  He looked transfixed.  Taako relished in it.He said, "Adorable.  I bet I could tear you apart."
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Barry Bluejeans/Taako, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Series: Lucretia's Volumes [My Balance Fics] [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556773
Comments: 8
Kudos: 100





	Brother Fucking Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sorry Honey, the Voidfish Made Me Fuck Your Brother](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21748306) by [EdgarAllenPoet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarAllenPoet/pseuds/EdgarAllenPoet). 



> "Hey," you might be wondering. "Isn't this the same story I read about a month ago?" 
> 
> Yeah, friend, it is. Thought it would be fun to write the same thing from Taako's perspective, and it turns out I was totally right. 
> 
> New and improved, this time with extra Sazed angst and a nice dash of Taakitz at the end.

_You think your life is done he took it all with him_

_So you drink enough for it to wash away the sin_

_'Cause it's such a shitty thing he did_

_The way he said goodbye_

_You can take it out on me if you'd like_

_Fuck Away The Pain-- Divide the Day_

* * *

Taako hadn't started his night with the intention of meeting anyone like Barry J. Bluejeans. In fact, if you'd asked him the day before, he would have said that Barry wasn't his type.

He also would have said that he wasn't interested, wasn't dating, wanted nothing to do with another man ever again, thank you. Taako is good out here, and he was far too busy ruining his own life to drag somebody pretty down with him. 

Barry wasn't pretty though, at least not in any sort of conventional sense. He looked like he might have been charming once upon a time, in a way that was very "basic human boy," but also like he'd outgrown that by a few milestones and was now settled comfortably in "full-grown" edging towards "old" (Humans were weird. Taako couldn't be bothered to keep up with the numbers).

He did have nice eyelashes, Taako had to admit, and his grin did this crooked half-thing at the corner of his mouth. He had some stubble growing in, just a five o'clock shadow, and his hands were strong and capable like someone who was used to working.

Sazed's hands had looked like that. Sazed had been strong and capable. Sazed had been a lot of things, and now he was gone, and Taako refused to miss him. 

Why bother missing him, anyways, when he had funny little humans like Barry to keep him occupied. Barry who, for some reason or another, was absolutely captivating to watch. Something about his body language, the way he moved his hands, the relaxed edges around his eyes. Something about him made Taako unwind, even though he wasn't in the mood for unwinding. Made him want to relax, but he was keeping a careful handle on that temptation. 

Barry bought him a drink with barely any urging, one that was prepared in clean sight and obviously untampered with. Barry ordered himself the same thing even though Taako was essentially drinking Cheerwine and a splash of spirits. He didn't complain at all, didn't even wrinkle his nose at it. 

He told Taako stories, he kept his hands to himself, and he couldn't seem to help but let his eyes wander to Taako's mouth, where they'd get caught up for a second before making eye contact again with a politely apologetic blush. Barry laughed freely, but the sag in his shoulders suggested he needed this. 

Taako didn't need anything, but he was allowed to want. He was allowed a bit of fun. He was allowed to smile with a man who called him pretty and didn't flinch when Taako's jokes edged over the line towards 'mean' and 'brutal.' He was allowed to hang out with a man with rough hands and soft features, who didn't press when Taako kept his stories to himself, who somehow softened Taako up enough (or maybe it was the wine, or maybe he was finally having the breakdown he'd been spiraling towards) that when he asked an innocent question about Taako's bag, Taako's wine-numb tongue threw him into a tangent.

Barry got to hear all about Sazed.

Sazed, who apparently had a mean streak. Sazed, who threw hands when he was angry, or frustrated, or when Taako was pushing just a little too hard for his patience. Sazed, who didn't take 'no' for an answer, who kept pushing and pushing, about being on the show, about where they performed, about how things were set up, about things they did in the bedroom--

Things had gotten bad at the end, and Taako had lived through far too much bullshit to stay with a man who hit him, but he also had a brain that only kind of worked and no idea how to do any of this on his own. Not when he was stumbling around like a half-wit, losing time left and right and forgetting things seconds after knowing them, and waking up screaming with memories of people he couldn't remember the second he opened his eyes--

Not when Sazed had been so, so nice to him. So charming. So protective.

Taako didn't need that. He didn't need anything. He just wasn't quite sure how to manage all alone anymore.

But now he had no choice. He'd been on his own for a few days now, keeping a low profile, getting as far away from Glamour Springs as he could to keep from getting himself executed. Taako had lived through far too much bullshit to get himself killed now.

Did Barry know he was talking to a mass murderer? Or, excuse me, mass man-slaughter-er? It hadn't been on purpose. Why would Taako ever do something like that on purpose?

It didn't seem like he knew, and he didn't recognize Taako's name during introductions, and the look on his face as Taako caught himself rambling was nothing short of enraged.

Not at Taako, but for Taako, and who would ever feel that way about an elf who'd ended so many lives through one careless mistake? 

A little concerned that Barry might try to storm out of the tavern, track Sazed down, and fistfight him then and there-- and a little too drunk to properly reign himself in-- Taako decided it was best if their conversation took a quick left turn somewhere a little more fun. The room was blurring at the edges, and his hand felt a bit too light as he moved it to Barry's knee and squeezed gently. Firm muscle under soft flesh under rough denim. Dope. 

He let his eyes droop a bit, pasted a grin on his face, and said, "You're too soft to do anything mean, at least." 

Barry's face flushed scarlet, mouth falling open the tiniest bit. He looked transfixed. Taako relished in it. 

He said, "Adorable. I bet I could tear you apart." 

Thankfully, bless the gods or the stars or whoever was responsible, Barry responded, "You wanna get a room and test that?" and Taako's face lit up in a grin.

The room was easy enough to acquire through a bit of harassment and a few gold pieces tossed towards the bartender. Their room was easy to find, and before they even got the door shut behind them, Barry's hands were all over him. 

Taako was entirely, completely, so so very on board. Except. He found his hands tangled in Barry's jacket and dropped one to plant it in the middle of Barry's chest, holding him at bay. Taako's back was against the door. Any kind of escape he tried to execute right now would have to be a fight before he could flee. He wanted to chide himself for being stupid, so fucking stupid, except that Barry stopped when signaled, idling an arms length away and letting his hands float where they'd previously been touching. 

Waiting.

Listening. 

That was unexpected. 

Still. "Pull any kind of shit, and I'll magic missile you out the gods damned window," Taako warned, because Barry was bigger and stronger than him, probably handled his liquor better too, and he needed to know who was in charge before they got started.

Barry looked gobsmacked. "Wouldn't dream of it," he said, and Taako raised an eyebrow. That was the correct answer. He dragged Barry back in and they crashed into each other, Barry against his chest and Taako against the door, and Barry's hands were back on him, and the human moaned from the manhandling and Taako felt infinitely lucky. He dragged Barry as close as he could, licked the taste of wine from his tongue, and rolled his hips into him. 

And suddenly Taako was in the air, Barry's hold strong and steady as he lifted him up and pressed him back against the door. Taako wrapped his legs around him and nipped at his bottom lip.

He thought of Sazed. They'd never done anything this exciting, um... ever. Not that they had a lot of space to work with, what with the wagon and all, but Sazed had been more of a "how efficiently can we do this" lover. A "lay down and spread em" lover. A "I know you said you said you had a headache, but I read somewhere that orgasms work as pain relief" lover.

Bastard. 

Taako slipped a bit and it brought him back to reality. Barry adjusted his grip, hauling him back up, squeezing. It did crazy things to the pleasure sparking in the pit of his spine, made his eyes roll back as he gasped into Barry's mouth. He looped his arms around Barry's neck to hang on.

The longer they kissed, the more frantic it became, Taako going in with sharp nails and teeth and tugs on hair, and Barry nearly crushing him back against the wall, hands so fucking gentle on him, too far away through the layers of his clothes.

He slid his hands up, readjusted, and the surprise of Barry's hands gripping both of Taako's ass cheeks startled a yelp out of him, which quickly dissolved into laughter as Barry pulled them off the wall and stumbled over to the bed. He lowered them down carefully, slowly, until he tripped and dropped him, bouncing against the mattress and nearly knocking their foreheads together when Taako grabbed the back of his neck for balance. 

Taako tugged him closer, keeping them flush until Taako was laying on his back with Barry between his legs, chest to chest. Barry was being very careful to not lean all of his weight on Taako. Taako wanted him to. He wasn't fragile. He wasn't going to shatter. 

To prove this-- to Barry, to himself, to whoever-- he let his hands wander under Barry's untucked t-shirt and scrape down his back. He was so soft. Taako loved it. Barry's breath hitched against his mouth, puffing out against his cheek, and Taako let himself get distracted with the waist of Barry's jeans. He slipped his hands past the waistband, bare skin against bare skin, and yanked him closer with two hands underneath his back pockets. 

An eye for an eye, and all that.

Barry choked back a moan, tore himself away, and pushed himself a bit more upright.

He said, "Hey," like they were wandering into each other in the middle of the street. Taako pressed a chuckle back with his tongue pressed to the roof of his mouth.

He grinned. "Hey there." 

Barry blushed a bit, fumbled with his words. "Hey, we, um. We're both drunk." 

This time Taako did laugh. He said, "Yeah, bud, probably from all the alcohol." 

Barry nodded a bit, absently, then rolled his eyes and shook his head, mildly frustrated. Taako grinned a little sharper at him. "Just tell me to stop if you want me to," he said. 

"Why would I want that?" 

There was a frown. He said, "Just tell me. I'm not a dick, not like--" 

And no, Taako was not having this talk with a stranger. He shouldn't have told him any of it in the first place. He cut him off with a sharp tug forward, digging his nails into the meat of Barry's ass. He said, "That's very sweet, but don't talk like you know me, capiche? Cha'boy didn't spill his feelings so we could talk about them in the bedroom."

Barry looked torn in half between being turned on and being embarrassed at the chastisement, and a little confused on top of it all. "That's fair," he said. 

Taako studied him closely. Gods, he was too drunk for all this negotiation. "Do you want to stop?" 

Barry choked a bit. "No?" 

Correct answer. 

"Then take your pants off." 

Taako let go of him, and Barry clambered back off the bed. Taako toed his boots off and then spent a moment trying to untangle himself from his robes while lying down, found it nigh impossible, and sighed before hoisting himself to his feet. He nearly fell back over from his feet sinking in the mattress, a bit too drunk to be coordinated, but he found his balance by some miracle and shimmied out of his robes without much problem. He shucked his shirt off and tossed everything into a pile on the floor, throwing his hat like a frisbee in that general direction. 

He glanced up and found them both half-dressed, Barry in his t-shirt and Taako still clothed from the waist down. Taako took his time looking Barry over with the most sultry expression he could manage, then redirected his attention to getting his pants off. 

That, too, seemed nigh impossible. His fingers a bit numb from drink, too clumsy, and they could manage his belt buckle but not the delicate cord of his trousers. He struggled with it for a moment before the bed dipped, and Taako pinwheeled for a moment before grabbing onto Barry's shoulders to keep balanced. 

Barry was kneeling in front of him, leaning in close to untie Taako's pants for him, tip of his tongue sticking out in concentration. Taako held onto him, let Barry keep his balance for him as they got his pants off and tossed aside. He was fully naked, butt to the wind, so he gave up on coordination and threw himself down on the bed, lounging back and soaking in the sensation of a soft mattress.

"Keeping the shirt on?" he asked, and Barry shrugged one shoulder before throwing it aside. Taako's eyes swept over him, well aware that he was also being studied. Barry was, once again, fascinating to look at. 

He wasn't much taller than Taako was, but he was wider across the shoulders. His stomach, his hips, his arms all held some weight on them, but he had the beat up forearms of a fighter. He was gently tan where his clothes exposed him to the sun, ghost-white in areas that never made it to the public eye. He had freckles too, cute little light-brown dots all over his body. Light brown chest hair, dark brown pubic region. He was blushing again, tips of his ears a glowing red.

Barry crawled back onto the bed, between Taako's legs, and his hand ghosted over his skin as it danced a tantalizing journey up his thigh. It stopped on his hip, squeezed so, so gently. His eyes read something akin to worship. 

Taako felt himself blushing at the attention. "Like what you see, then?" 

"How could I not?" 

That was just too sweet to bear. Taako pulled him into another kiss, adoring the feeling of their bare chests brushing together. Taako felt like skin and bone underneath him, felt as light as a bird, felt like Barry could cradle his entire form in his hands. 

"You're so soft, fuck," Taako found himself mumbling into Barry's lips as they kissed, his hands moving to Barry's hips and dragging him closer, squeezing with all his might, grounding himself. Barry trembled under his hands, kissed him deeper, ground his hips down and Taako found himself bucking up.

He wrapped himself around Barry, tugging his hair, clutching his shoulders, and kissing him like his life depended on it. Barry was moaning into his mouth, pushing closer and closer, so close Taako could barely breathe. He gasped for breath, let his hand find the back of Barry's neck and tug him into a better position, so Taako could get some air. Satisfied with the adjustment, he slid his hands down Barry's arms, over his ribs, found him ticklish. Taako glowed at the laugh he got out of him. 

And then things were moving forward. "How do you wanna...?"

"Just do what I tell you, pumpkin." 

He used a cantrip to wet himself, wrinkling his nose a bit at the sensation. He took Barry's hand and guided it south, warning, "It's been a hot minute, my dude, you're gonna have to go slow." Barry sat back, the space feeling like a mile between them, and it tickled a bit where his other hand settled on Taako's upper thigh.

"Start with one-- ah fuck!" Taako's instruction bit off into a surprised cry as Barry did what he was told, moving slowly and pushing in past the tight muscle. Taako twitched, hips bucking up, face screwing up with his eyes pressed closed. 

Barry pet his thigh, making Taako squint an eye open at him. "Not gonna break," he complained, squirming again. He pushed back against Barry's hand, let out a long breath through his teeth, and then relaxed. 

He said, "Another, and move with it." Barry obliged, adding a second finger, and eventually a third, while Taako swallowed back groans and got used to the feeling, slowly relaxing under it.

Barry asked, "How do you get this tan under all of those robes?" 

Taako hummed in the back of his throat, distracted by the sensation of naked skin, soft linens, body heat, the hand in his ass, the almost uncomfortable pressure that he was trying to settle into, the feeling of being stuffed. 

He answered, barely paying attention, started to say, "Hard not to with the two..." before his thoughts caught up with him. Two what? What had he been talking about? Wait, what had he just said? The words blipped out of his mind, but they tingled where they'd left his tongue. He frowned at himself, head starting to ache. 

"Huh..." he muttered, letting it go to spare himself the headache. "Guess I just tan easy. Fuck you, maybe I was born this way." 

"Just curious." 

"Gotta hide the goods from the public eye," Taako teased, then squirmed again, hips wriggling. "Okay, okay, get on with it already, fuck." 

"You ready?" 

"Yes, jeez, don't fucking tease me." 

  
Barry pressed a butterfly kiss to the inside of his hip, barely there, ticklish. Taako choked on his breath. 

"Fuck you."

"I'm working on it, hold on." Barry eased his hand out slowly and Taako groaned at the emptiness. Quickly, though, Barry's hands took both of his hips and tugged him, moving him down the bed and up the ramp of his hips, holding him up to line up between his legs, maneuvering Taako like he hardly weighed anything.

Barry tapped at his hip with a fingertip, and Taako helped lift his hips better. Then Barry started to press into him, painstakingly slow, and once he had his hips pressed flush to the swell of Taako's ass, Taako went boneless, all his strength leaving him.

"Fuck," Taako muttered. If he moved, he would die. Arousal sang so loudly in his blood that he could hardly remember how to breathe. "Ah fuck, fantasy Jesus, gimme a second." 

Barry's voice was choked as he said, "Take your time," sweet as sugar. He had himself propped up against the mattress with one hand and he held Taako up against him with his other against the small of his back. Taako took a deep breath or two, wrinkling his nose up a bit, and he rolled his hips to get used to the sensation. He groaned with it, and sparks danced behind his eyes. 

Barry made a sound like he was falling apart. "Oh," he said, and Taako grinned. He settled down, wrapped his legs around Barry's hips, and locking his ankles against his flanks. Barry was the perfect shape to hold onto. Taako was living for it. He tugged him closer with his legs, Barry jerking forward and slapping his hips into him. Taako bit down on his bottom lip. 

"Okay," he said, squirming again. "Go for it."

It was easy to lose himself after that, get entirely entranced by the rhythmic push, push, push of Barry's cock pressing into him, the slapping of their hips together, the movement of Barry between his legs and how it made Taako slide against the mattress. Barry moved, dropping down on his elbows and totally engulfing him. Taako pressed his forehead into the crook of Barry's neck and every breath he breathed was entirely filled with the other man, sweat, and sex, and Barry was moving at the perfect angle now to hit Taako's sweet spot with each and every thrust, and Taako was filled with so much pleasure he thought he might die. 

He clutched Barry closer, holding onto him for dear life, finding Barry's skin under his lips and biting at it. Barry moaned, Taako grinned. He sucked a bruise into the skin of his neck. 

Barry moved faster, and every breath left Taako in a gasp. His dick was trapped between them, sparking with every thrust, leaking a puddle on the skin between them. Barry noticed, squirming around until he managed to find his balance on one elbow so he could slide his other hand between them and wrap it around Taako's length. 

It was too dry, and it stuck, and Taako hissed in a pained breath that made Barry pause completely until Taako managed to mumble out a cantrip to remedy the situation. When Barry tried again, Taako found himself nearly screaming from the pleasure of it all, moan high-pitched and entirely involuntary. His vision flashed white behind his eyelids, and he clutched tighter at Barry as he started to tremble all over. 

Barry's breathing was ragged as he fell apart above him. One moment, he was drilling Taako into the headboard, and the next he was pulling out completely and pumping himself to completion. 

Well that just wouldn't do. Taako chased Barry's hand away and replaced it with his own, pumping, twisting, milking him for the few precious seconds he needed to tip him over the edge. Barry shuddered into his orgasm, moaning through tightly pressed lips, come hot where it hit Taako's skin. 

Taako pulled him through it, waiting, still glowing in his own arousal, until Barry pulled away and dropped between his legs. His hands were so, so gentle on him where the one encircled his dick while the other cradled his hip. His thumb rubbed tiny circles into his skin, and Taako could have gotten lost in the feeling of being pet until Barry's lips wrapped around the head of his cock and tossed him, suddenly and violently, into his orgasm.

He pressed his hand tight over his mouth and moaned helplessly into it, hips trying to buck up but finding themselves firmly held down under Barry's hands, which was almost too much to bear on top of everything. He came too suddenly to issue any warning, and it wasn't until after, when Barry sat up and spat the contents into his hand, that Taako realized he'd forgotten his manners.

He also just about died laughing. 

"Shut up," Barry complained, but he was smiling. "I wasn't expecting--" 

Taako laughed so hard he was nearly crying. "You're the one who put your mouth down there!" he yelled, and Barry averted his eyes as a few chuckles escaped him. 

"I've never exactly done this before, give me a break." 

"Never?" 

"Not with a guy, I don't think. I'm not...." He trailed off, and Taako watched him get lost in thought as he soaked up his own afterglow. It had been a while since an orgasm left him feeling anything but exhausted. There were times with Sazed he wouldn't even bother, would say, "Nah, it's fine, I'm not feeling it tonight," and let the problem go away on its own while he drifted off to sleep. 

This, though. This was nice. A good change of pace. Taako felt sore in all of the best ways, and his legs felt weak as he rolled off the bed and stretched his arms above his head, trying to get the sparkles out of them. His back popped and he sighed happily. That had been nice. 

Now for the tricky part. 

He was still a little drunk, but not too much that he couldn't get himself put back together. He gathered his things off the floor-- his bag, his hat, his clothes and robes. He chased a boot out from under the bed. He watched Barry watching him. 

"Wait," Barry said suddenly, and a flash of fear shot down Taako's spine. He became suddenly aware of how naked he still was. "Are you leaving?" Barry asked, tone not quite what Taako was expecting. Tinged with sadness instead of anger. 

"Um, yeah?" he said, voice lifting up like it was a question. "This was just, like, a quick little thing, right?" 

Right. That's it. That's all it was, and if Barry tried to claim anything else, he could go to hell. Taako still had that spell slot if he needed it. He glanced around a bit frantically for his wand. 

"Well, yeah, but--" Barry agreed, at least. Taako dropped to his knees to dig through his robes properly, trying to find his wand. 

"Cha'boy doesn't do, um, pillow talk and all that," he said, stalling. "Not really looking for any kind of--"

Barry cut him off. "No, no of course not," he said, and Taako paused. His fingers found his wand and he gripped it tightly, still buried under a mountain of fabric. He glanced sideways at his bedmate as he stuttered on, "I mean, you don't have anywhere else to go tonight, right?" 

Taako should have been more fucking careful. He stood, wand and robe held in one fist at his side, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Was this some kind of trap? Had Barry known this entire fucking time? 

He asked, "What the fuck are you getting at?" with as much venom in his voice as he could muster.

Barry didn't look put off in the slightest. He shrugged one shoulder, sat up a little straighter. He nodded his head towards the bag at Taako's feet, and his eyes scanned over the elf as Taako debated his next move. Barry's eyes made their way to his face and stopped there, gaze getting stuck somewhere just below eye level. 

Taako realized, suddenly, that he'd lost his concentration on the glamour spell he'd had going. His freshest present from Sazed was still an ugly glowing bruise decorating his cheekbone. Barry could see it, after everything Taako had said, and fuck. Barry could see everything. Saw Taako exactly as strung out and unwashed as he was, as desperate, as fucking pathetic.

But instead of any of the responses Taako was expecting, something in Barry's gaze softened. He said, "I've been on the run before," careful, like he was speaking to a cornered animal. "Couldn't hurt to have someplace warm to sleep for the night." 

And okay, maybe that was true. It might have been a trap, but it was true. Barry hadn't hurt him yet, hadn't been anything but kind and gentle with him. He'd had more than enough chances to inflict damage if he'd wanted to. 

Perhaps...

Taako snagged his boxers off the floor and dropped his robe, keeping his wand in hand as he slipped into his underwear. He tucked the wand into his waistband and added his smallest dagger, sending a message. 

"I suppose not," he answered. He sat on the edge of the bed. "What do you know about garlic chicken?" 

Barry's face betrayed absolutely no recognition as he answered, "I don't... I don't know anything about garlic chicken, I don't think? I don't know how to cook." 

Because you can't learn, a tiny voice in Taako's head said, and Taako shook it away. 

He said, "And my name doesn't mean anything to you?" 

Barry shook his head. "No. Is it supposed to?"

Taako considered his options, considered Barry, considered another cold night out there sleeping on the ground somewhere-- he'd wasted more than his budgeted gold on their celebrations earlier-- and he considered the warm, soft bed he was sitting on. He was still a bit drunk, still incredibly tired. He didn't really want to try and hit the road again tonight. 

Fuck it, he thought, and climbed back into bed. 

"Fine," he said, climbing under the covers and flicking his wrist at the mess they'd made, banishing it away. "But cha'boy doesn't cuddle. Don't fucking think I'm a teddy bear or something." 

"Yeah." 

Barry looked a little sad, but Taako didn't have sympathy for strangers. He regarded him for a second, then rolled to face away from him. "Night then," he said, wrapping himself around a pillow. 

Barry whispered a goodnight. The lights went out. 

Taako wondered what he ought to do next. Gods know he wouldn't get any sleep lying in bed with a total stranger-- he never slept well, but especially not around others. He'd have to meditate, then, but he was shit at that. Always had been. It always left him absolutely exhausted. 

He was absolutely exhausted now, but he couldn't let that mean anything. Had to stay on guard. Awake. He'd spend the night resting his body and counting down the seconds till morning. He could enjoy the warmth if nothing else. 

Those were Taako's last thoughts before falling soundly asleep. 

  
He woke up with a start several hours later, with the early morning light just starting to peak in through the gap between the bedroom curtains. He froze, head spinning as he tried to figure out his situation. 

He'd fallen asleep, in a bed. With... right, Barry. The guy from the bar. Barry was laying in front of him, snoring quietly, still out cold. Taako had his arm wrapped around Barry's stomach, had been nuzzling his nose into the space between Barry's shoulder blades. 

He felt panicked, devastated by his slip up, but as he pulled himself away from the man he also felt a tiny protest in the back of his mind, something telling him that he was allowed to stay. That it was safe. 

What a bunch of horse shit. 

He crawled out of bed and cast silence so he could gather his items without fear of waking the human. He took the time to stow away to the bathroom and scrub himself raw under the pounding hot water of a long-needed shower. It felt so good to be clean. Felt so good to be well-rested. To sleep in a bed. To have a conversation, to have good sex. 

Hachi machi. 

If Taako wasn't careful he was going to get attached, and that was something he did not have the time for. Taako had let himself get attached to exactly one person before, and look how well that had ended. 

Yeah, Taako wasn't too keen to jump back in that boat. 

It was about time for him to get out of town anyways. 

He dressed quickly and silently, and he tucked himself under layers and layers of robes, hid himself under the brim of his hat, and strapped his rucksack tightly to him before slipping out the door like a fantom, stepping out of Barry's life without even leaving a note. 

Fuck it, whatever. It was just sex. 

  
\----

The events of that evening slipped Taako's mind entirely until family dinner. It was six months after The Big Reveal and John's Final Ass Kicking. Taako had somehow gotten through meeting Barry again, watching him die, meeting him in his ghosty form, and everything that followed-- Taako had gotten through all of that without remembering fucking. 

To be fair, Taako's mind wasn't exactly all that it used to be. Lucretia had done a real number on him, had left him with some side effects none of them had really anticipated. It helped to be settled down. Helped to have Lup back, his childhood, his heart, half his fucking memories back. That helped, natch, but it didn't fix everything. 

It didn't stop things from going inexplicably missing in his stupid swiss cheese brain. 

The other day, he'd forgotten 'pi' and Barry had nearly had a stroke laughing. 

Barry. Fuck. 

Barry. FUCK. 

He and Barry had fucked. 

The realization came to him at dinner, when he took a bite of (some truly spectacular) food (made by himself, of course) and moaned to emphasize just how truly spectacular it was. And Barry had caught his eye with an absolutely dumbfounded expression, and something about the blush that spread over his cheekbones and through his ears shook a memory loose from the good ol' amygdala, and Taako nearly choked on his rumaki.

He and Barry had fucked. 

Barry. Barry his best friend. 

Barry his sister's husband. 

Lup's husband. 

Lup. 

Fuck. 

They told her later, after dinner, embarrassed beyond belief. Taako had been the one who'd had to say it, because Barry couldn't function well enough to get a word out. 

But Lup's response was howling laughter and a pillow fight, and if Taako knew his sister, he knew that that meant forgiveness. Even if she hit him hard enough to sting a few times.

  
\---

He didn't think about it often-- there wasn't much to think about. 

He remembered that it happened, but whether it was from the alcohol, or Lucretia's bullshit, or from the trauma of being on the run-- whatever the reason, he couldn't actually remember it happening. He knew that it happened, and honestly he thought the entire thing was pretty fucking hilarious, but he didn't know anything about it. 

He might as well have not been there, for all the detail he could remember. 

Still, fucking his brother-in-law. Fucking the bluejeans dork. Yeah, nah, Taako didn't want to remember all that. So he didn't. He rarely thought about it.

It was only in certain moments that the thought came back to him, such as laying naked in bed with Kravitz, the sheets loose and disheveled around their legs, sweat still cooling on their skin. Taako lay on his back with Kravitz half on top of him, listening in fascination to his heartbeat while Taako ran his hand up and down over the sloping small of Kravitz's back. 

Suddenly, Kravitz grinned. His dear, sweet husband smiled and cracked up a tiny bit in a laugh. Taako hummed, curious, too tired to put any real energy into it.

"What?" he asked, sliding his hand further down Kravitz's back, cupping his ass and squeezing because this was his husband-- he was allowed to touch the booty whenever he wanted to, and by Istus, he was going to take advantage. 

Kravitz propped his chin up on Taako's chest and grinned at him, full of mischief. Sometimes it was hard to remember Kravitz was a celestial ambassador, a millennia-old and endued with the power of the Goddess of Death. He grinned up at Taako like a schoolboy, peaking through braids that had fallen into his face. 

He could barely get through the words, "Am I a better lay than Barry?" without bursting out laughing, and Taako barely let him get through the sentence before lifting his hand and slamming it back down hard enough to leave a handprint. 

Kravitz yelped and laughed in earnest, and Taako grappled him until he managed to pin Kravitz underneath him and kiss him absolutely breathless. Kravitz let himself be pinned, and he smiled like sunshine when Taako pulled back, just barely, nose to nose, far enough to whisper.

He murmured, "I'm going to transmute all of your underwear to denim," and threw himself off the bed before the words could properly sink in. 

"Wait no!" Kravitz squawked a second later, tumbling out of bed after him and chasing him into their walk-in closet, where he was able to trap the elf in his arms and carry him back to bed for round two, underwear unscathed.

Taako let himself be captured and hauled away, glowing in the attention and hoping he never gained enough memory back to answer Kravitz's question.

For all that he and Lup loved competition, he'd die happily without ever finding out whose husband was better at dicking down.


End file.
